I am so very broke it's not even faintly amusing anymore. I have been sans job for two and a half months now, despite my applying nearly everywhere I could think of, and I'm reduced to trying to figure out how long my food will last. There are a couple of good prospects this week, and one from last week I'm really hoping for, but I'll probably need to grovel to my parents to cover June's rent and car payment. If there is a benifecent diety out there, please let me get a job soon.

I love living in the middle of a hive of humanity. I've never been comfortable with silence, and the walls in my building are a bit thin, so there's constantly a low-grade murmur .
Across the street is a row of quaint little cottage houses done all up in pastels. One lady is currently changing her whit house's trim-work from a blush-y rouge color to a lovely sea-foam green, and is wearing the most darling color-coordinated outfit of white pants and sea-foam button down shirt, with a straw hat the same shade as her blonde-wood front porch.
I am fascinated by this phenomenon. Are real human beings actually this weird? Or is she, as I'm privately convinced, a strange alien creature masquerading as human. Only time, or an autopsy, will tell.

Look at me,I remembered I actually have one of these. There's been some changes in my little corner of reality. I've moved into an apartment(1bd/1ba), I've become store manager and I got a new(to me) car. Am rather content with life at the moment. If poor from bills. >__

::creeps shyly out of lurker-dom:: Ummm...Hi. ::tiny wave:: I'm trying to find a rather long spander fic, in which Xander had been captured in Africa and was kept underground as a fighting slave for 5 years. Spike sees him on a slave ship while looking for slayers and buys him. Xan's got really long hair with jewels tied in it. They stay in a big house with Willow and Oz and Gunn and some slayer that's with Gunn. Proactive thanks and virtual chocolate-chip cookies with milk to anyone who can help. This fic's been bugging me for a while and I can't find it!

I was calmly sitting at my computer, reading BtVS fanfiction, when one of the dogs started going *nuts*. He was up on the wicker chair in front of the bay window in the livingroom, barking his fool head off. I figured it was somebody walking down the street( that's what it usually is), and I went to shut him up. I glanced out the window when I got over to it, but didn't see anything. The dog is still growling though, so I scan the yard for animals. Lo and behold, the front yard is nearly *covered* with robins! A huge flock of them, spreading from my yard to the neighbor's and across the street into the field. There had to be like a hundred birds, hopping around and pecking at the ground. I probably stood there for ten minutes, watching the little things flitter about. I'm gonna have to go get some big bags of the wild birdseed mix. With the robins coming through, the others will be back soon.

the "I am..." list
Found this in anjanka7's journal when I was reading fanfic and it touched me enough to make me *need* to repost it in my own


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.


Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

I found this on my goooooooooooooooooooooood friend SilentRemorse's journal, and tried it. This is what happened!



be sorted @ nimbo.net

If there really is any one out there, checking out my journal and saying 'Where's the d@mn fics she said she'd post!', I apologize. Things are a bit hectic at the monent(RL sucks), and I type really slow, so it's a bit of a prodction to get anything posted. Soon, within a week, I will have at least some of my shorter stuff up. Most likely. Please don't hate me for being a lazy shlub. *gives big puppy-dog eyes*

Feel free to ignore me right now, I just figured out how to do cuts and am practicing.

( Read more... )

Okay, first off, I own NOTHING! The characters portrayed in these stories are not the real live people that play them on tv, or in movies or any where else that real ppl are. If any situations or personas seem real to anybody, I apologize in advance and claim no knowledge of said situations or personas.

There, the disclaimers out of the way. Now on to the dribbles!

Dribble the First
Mirror Image

I am what he sees in the mirror- shaggy red hair, an explosion of freckles, laughing brown eyes and that devil-may-care grin. We've always finished each others sentences and laughed at jokes told only in the quirking of an eyebrow or twitch of lips. Even Mum has trouble telling us apart sometimes. But I know we're different. It's the tiny things you have to really search for, like how he prefers to sleep curled up on his right side and I favor sprawling out on my back. He chews on his left thumb nail when he's thinking hard, and I think it's a nasty habit. We get into dreadful rows about how to run the shop(NEVER where anyone can hear), and have spent days not speaking to each other. But somehow, when day draws to a close and the world shrinks in to the two of us in our home, we curl up together(with his head pillowed on my left shoulder), and nothing else matters but the love mirrored back to me in his eyes.
"Goodnight, Gred."
"'Night, Forge."

Dribble the Second
Dare, Double-Dare, and Bet You Won't

"I dare you to go next door and kiss Old Lady Tompkins on the mouth." Xander gapes at Jesse, unable to believe he'd suggest something so gross. Old Lady Tomkins is nearly one hundred, wrinklier than a semi truck full of prunes, and smells strongly of menthol cigarettes and cat litter. Xander shudders in revulsion and surrenders one of his peanut butter cookies to his best male friend as payment to pass on his dare. Willow is the next in line, and she has the perfect dare for Jesse.
" I dare you to... kiss Xan on the mouth. With tongue." Willow blushes hard just saying it, but holds eye contact with her victim. The thin lanky boy gapes for a moment, then smirks and says," Double-Dare ya, Wills." She immediatly shoots back,"Bet You Won't!" That is a challenge that Jesse has yet to stand up against, even when it got him suspended in seventh grade for pantsing the skinny substitute history teacher.
Jesse glares at the little redhead for a moment, then leaps at Xander. Knocking him over, they land on a pile of couch cushions and empty chip bags. Without letting himself think about it, Jesse mashes is mouth against Xanders. They both freeze for a moment, this is easily the most unusual thing they've ever done together. Slowly, Xander's tense lips relax, parting slightly to allow Jesse's tounge to slip hesitantly in. The first nervous swipe against the roof of Xan's mouth startles a faint moan out of him, and he unconsciously sucks a bit at the invading muscle. Jesse, who was already laying half on top of Xander(mostly to hold him still in case he tried to run), presses even closer into his dark-haired friends body and proceeds to count his teeth with his tongue.
Several minutes pass before the two boys come up for air and reluctantly separate. All three teens are panting heavily, two from lack of oxygen and the third from sheer arousal. Nobody says anything for a bit, then Willow suddenly 'remembers' some homework that needs to be done for tomorrow and dashes out in a flurry of stuttered good-bys and
bright blushing cheeks. Xander and Jesse avoid each others eyes for a moment, then suddenly catch each other sneaking peeks at the other's mouth. With a shrug and a 'Why the hell not' mind-set, the two boys slide into another close embrace and mesh their mouths back together.
Later on, when asked how they became a couple, they always laugh and say it was their friend Willow's fault.

Ok, so I was thinking to myself earlier(and yes, it did hurt!), I write a lot of fanfiction. I mean A LOT!!!!!! But I never do any thing with it. So I'm gonna start posting it here, in the hopes that I'll actually finish some of my ongoing fics, and motavate mysrlf into writing more. Wish me luck(I'll need it), and we'll see what happens.

OK, so my life really sucks, right? I mean, OK, I don't live in a cardboard box on some street corner, or have to hustle for food or anything, but I don't have the kind of life ppl aspire to or anything. My entire day revolves around either working at my crappy part-time job, or sitting on my *ss and staring blankly at my computer. And it's not even MY computer, it's my parents. Yes, I live with the 'rents. Yes, I'm fully old enough to be on my own. No, I'm not that much of a loser, I'm just f*cking poor.
Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing bad about practically living on teh 'net, it's just when it starts to preclude any other form of socialization that it becomes a problem. I have reached the stage where I have no real freinds, only work-buddies and casual associations, and rarely leave the house other than to work or buy food. The thing is is that I know I'm addicted but don't WANT to get help.

Howdy again, my friends and confidants. I have returned from my travels and brought back many wonderous objects. During my time away I actually found part of my mind! It has been missing for many years, stolen by the twin evils of television and apathy. I have been searching high and low for any signs of my mind, and tracked down a piece of it. Unfortunatly, the part I found is the section that supplies sarcasm and unneeded non-helpful suggestions. Oh well, maybe I'll find some more bits soon.

Well, boys and girls, today was my last day in the men's department at JCPenney. ::sob,sniffle:: My manager had to cut hours at the begnning of the month, and I had been bumped down to around 15 a week. How horrible is that?! ::Boo!Hiss!:: Well I asked him if there was any way that I could work two departments or something. Friday, when I went in to pick up my pathetic check($155 for two weeks!), he told me I was being transferred! I now work in the women's department, which covers womens sizes, petites( I don't know why those two are lumped together), dresses, and special occasions(prom dresses). The hours are much better and I don't have to leave JCP, but I'll miss my friends in Men's(they're on the other side of the store, and it's a big store).

On a lighter note, it will be my Mom's B-day in about an hour. She is turning the big 58! My parents are old, Dad is 63. I'm a late-life baby, my dad has two kids in their 40's from his first marriage.

Well, thats all for now, my brain has decided it needs popcorn and gore so I'm off to watch Silence of the Lambs for the kazillinth time.

Why do people think that just because I'm a rather easy-going person, cheerful... or at least pleasant... most of the time, that means they can just walk all over me?! I don't have 'WELCOME' tattooed on my forehead, I'm not a doormat! God! Every time I finally disabuse some utter twit of the notion that I'll just sit there and take their sh*t, some other idiot shows up and tries it on with me. Ugh!

I'm Vivian, if you couldn't tell. Amanda is quite happily asleep, dreaming of cans of spray cheese and a tied-down nekkid Spike. She's a HUGE Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. Spike's nice enough eye-candy I suppose, if you don't mind a really pushy uke( my opinion). I rather like Ethan; not too bad-looking for a middle-aged British man, a dab hand with the old hocus-pocus, and you gotta admire a man willing to dedicate his life to chaos. Uh-oh, Amanda's waking up, I promised she could choose the movie tonight and she's so terribly hyper about whatever annoying thing she's chosen. Help me.

Well, here we all are, meeting for the first time. I hope you remembered to bring your lunch money, and please, don't harass the inmates. Now I'm not going to be the most rapid of posters, because frankly I don't give a rat's ass most of the time to even think about other ppl after a day of slavery(work). On those days I'm actually safe to go into public, I'll let y'all know how it's going in my little corner of this f*cked-up universe.
Also, I'll be posting as two different ppl; Amanda(myself), and Vivian(B*tch-Queen from Hell). I'll let you know who is who. You'll probably be able to figure it out on your own, though, just from the moods.=P
Thats all for now, hope you survive this life till we meet again.